Well you know I love this...

Click here to see Vanessa Carlton face her legacy while making a really fun video.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2T7YZI5e8q8

Just business...

This is one of my new musical discoveries, Jesca Hoop, isn't she fun?

Those of you who know me, which I think is most everyone reading, know that I look for personal connections with just about everyone I meet. Lately this has come back to haunt me in several ways.

Soon after our store opened I helped a nice gal who seemed about my age and enjoyed the store very much. As I was ringing up her purchase I noticed the shopping bag she was carrying had the logo of a store across the street at the mall that I had just had a really pleasant visit to. I asked what she had bought and she told me she was the manager! And we've basically carried on something of a friendship ever since. A week ago (a Friday evening) she came in and coyly told me she and her fellow were there to look at wedding invitations! How exciting! It was so nice to work with someone I was really happy for. It turns out her wedding is quite soon and I was concerned about the turn around time on letterpressed cards for her. But she insisted that everyone already knew about the wedding, they knew who was coming, it was merely a formality because she wanted them. I encouraged her to get her order finalized by Sunday evening, a few nights later, so it would get processed as soon as possible (this would be the next time the invitations department would even be open). I spent at least an hour with her, and went on my lunch break quite a bit later than scheduled, but we settled on a design and I sent her off to work on text before Sunday. She signed off on the terms and conditions, I rung her up, she asked for a hug before leaving (!) and we went on our merry ways. Sunday she emailed in text, and I sent in her order so it was processed first thing Monday morning.

And then she called the store shortly after I left on Monday. She wanted to cancel her order because she had decided that it was too expensive. When informed that this was no longer a possibility she threw me under the bus and apparently accused me of rushing her into it. I was really upset to hear this. I thought I was helping a friend get what she wanted in time for her big day. And instead it looks like our little friendship has fallen apart. I had been considering making a purchase from her store and now I feel uncomfortable with the idea of seeing her there.

Another example: I got a Christmas card from the gal who has been doing my brow waxes. I was very brow-phobic till I went to her, she works at my old hair salon in Palo Alto. It's been a bit of a pain to drive all the way down there just to drive all the way back and hide out at home while I wait for the redness to go away. And she's also expensive. But I liked the awesome work she did and I liked that she remembered so much about me every time I saw her, which was only for about fifteen minutes, every other month! The personal connection really held me. Well, like I said, she sent me a card, so I sent her one of our New Year's cards. A couple days ago I called the salon and made an appointment for the following morning. A couple hours later I got a call on my cellphone (the number I had given the salon for appointment confirmations) from a number I didn't know. She was calling me for a personal favor, did I mind coming in later for my appointment? I was her only scheduled morning appointment and her boyfriend was leaving for the airport and she really wanted to be able to take him. I told her I couldn't come in later because I had to go to work, but that of course we could reschedule!

This is the part where it gets really sticky. I decided to try this more local small-business place, two sisters that run a teeny-tiny "brow bar" with great flare. It's more inexpensive so I could afford to go in more frequently and highly reviewed on Yelp. I went yesterday and I loved it. So now I don't know what to do in the future. It was our personal connection that made her know it was okay to call me... I feel bad leaving her right after that. It isn't like I actually had a problem with her request! And I will miss her (though I loved the sisters too). It's just bad timing. Gah!

And then there's one of my rather expensive habits (the others being travel and chiropractic, though that's covered by insurance now): personal training at the gym. Earlier today I used up my last session with LT and I have to see how many sessions I can buy to get me through the year. I don't want to spend more than I have budgeted, it's her job to get me to buy sessions... it's awkward on a friendship. And we really are friends. I'm checking out my options, training less with her and learning to do more on my own (which I hate, chatting with her distracts me from noticing the weird looks from the meatheads up in the weight room), asking someone I've met through spin class who has become a trainer how much her sessions cost and maybe mixing her in a bit... I don't know how it's going to turn out. But it's personal connection and money butting heads again.

And it's making me tired.

Confessions of a relapse...

Okay fine, I admit it. The five-ish extra pounds that appeared over the holidays weren't "fluff" pounds as a friend at the gym used to call them. Usually, if I travel a teensy bit in the wrong direction on the scale those pounds are quick to come back off. You sort of lose pounds as fast as you gained them, which is why I don't mind that it's taking several years to get the majority of the weight off, I took many, many years to put it on. But these five pounds? They went on super quick, so why won't they just leave? Frustrating but I know it's not really a huge deal. I just wanted to confess my sins: 2008 is not starting out too great, when it comes to weight. And I used to be able to brag that no matter what, I could at least maintain like a champ. I think I have to give up my title.

However, I feel great. That's what really counts, right? Can someone please get me to totally believe that? I've been shifting back to paying more attention to getting enough veggies during the day, less attention to what to avoid and feel bad about. I try to be not eat anything after 8pm, and I'm getting better at that. Tuesday morning I went to spin at the new Gold's Gym in Redwood City. I pay an extra $3 a month to be able to go to either gym, so worth it! The new spin room is lovely, they have something like 35 bikes instead of 22, and they're not packed together making it impossible for two people to use heart rate monitors next to each other. Next month as I work more in the mornings I think I will become very familiar with those early morning spin classes. I've also enjoyed some great walks recently. Last Sunday CF and I drove across 101 to Redwood Shores and found a lovely part of the Bay trail that we had never walked before. It was very flat so I don't think our heart rates really got pumping, but my legs felt good and tired by the end of our hour and half walk. Yesterday was such a beautiful day I couldn't stand to stay inside the gym for cardio after working out with LT. I came home, put on my Shuffle and headed up our neighborhood hill. I tried to find a totally new route to wander, I was only partially successful, but I did find some gorgeous vistas... I could see San Francisco so clearly from up there! I ended up walking for close to an hour and a half and my walk included some very steep roads. My calves are sore this morning. Unfortunately, so was my knee. So I did skip spin class. I'm trying to allow myself an extra day to rest and not feel bad about skipping the cardio. I'll just focus on eating right instead. Tomorrow I'll work out with LT again, and CF and I are going for a walk. If we go back up the hill I'll bring my camera with me this time so you can play along at home.

So it's give and take, up and down, trying to be good to myself. I wish living healthy and feeling good was enough for me. Damn, I hate those numbers!

No day but today... only until June.

I'm sort of shocked right now! I just saw the news that Rent is closing on Broadway in June. In retrospect I had begun to regret not seeing it when I was there with mom last August, what was I thinking not going to see Adam and Anthony in the roles they originated? Now I am seriously kicking myself, I never did see it in its home theater, the Nederlander. Drat, drat, drat!!! The story of how this show made it to Broadway is truly amazing and terribly sad. Even though the show has resorted to stunt casting for years now, I'm still surprisingly saddened to hear it will be shutting down. Wow.

This reminds me of a favorite video of mine though. Video of Jonathon Larson singing his song Sunday. Which, if you are a true nerd like me, you will recognize as a spoof. I think only SB will get it, and I'm not sure he actually reads this, maybe my sister?

Okay... I think I'm ready now!

What do you mean the month is half over? My goodness, how the time does fly!

While our social calendar has been empty I've managed to dig myself out of the hole I was obviously in when I last posted. Coming back from the trip and diving straight into the holiday season was actually crazier than I ever managed to realize while in the middle of it. Recently I started to feel really proud and optimistic of how organized and on top of things I was, but then I realized it's just that I'm not miserably swamped and behind on everything!

Work is interesting, our manager is leaving at the end of the month, yes the one who started in July. I'm happy for her that she's moving into something more important to her personally, but I was left very worried about the time between when she leaves and when a replacement is hired. There's just two ladies who are taking classes to complete their degrees and me to open and close the store 7 days a week. I didn't see how that could possibly go well. Well, it's actually looking pretty good for me! Considering their class schedules I'm left opening the store more often than not, and that means carpooling with CF and getting to come in for fantastic breakfast before heading down to work. Also, they're available more on weekends, so I have almost every weekend day off, except for two Saturdays, one is our inventory day and one is our big wedding planning event, so of course I'm going to be there on those days! So that feels pretty darn good, I'll have a much more "normal" schedule than I've managed since the store opened. What is CF going to do with me around so much on the weekends?

For now things remain a little crazy at work, we're getting ready for inventory, the manager is leaving so her brain is sort of half way out the door, and this is all happening as letterpress orders pick up as we head into wedding planning season. Seeing as I'm the invitations coordinator and held a bit accountable for sales for this service it is very nice to see business picking up, but it can pull me in two directions at once sometimes. Yesterday I opened the store and knew I had to dive into a stack of letterpress and special order questions that had been waiting all weekend for answers from headquarters. But I also found an email explain the top priority was to get all winter clearance merchandise off the sales floor before opening. Ummm, how am I supposed to do that, alone, and in half an hour? So we weren't done before the store opened but I did the best I could and made the phone call requested in that email. KA answered the phone (she gave me the tour when we visited Chicago last September) and wondered why I was calling, I told her it was to give her the update she requested. Later I learned that only two area managers and myself had given their update, everyone else failed to check in. So I was totally on top of what needed to happen but I made our store look pretty good just by making that call. JE was my hero and spent most of her day packing up boxes of Christmas and making lists of the items going in each box, though at one point we ran out of boxes so we had to wait for the day's delivery to be made before we could continue packing. By the time I really got to dive into my stack of important questions everyone in Chicago had gone home for the day so those questions are waiting until I get back to work today. Ah, the pitfalls of urgent versus important!

It's going to be a long day, I just did my second morning in a row of what I call "butt early" spin. Yesterday was 5:30 and this morning was 6:00am. I went last Tuesday and Thursday as well. Tuesday was the first time I had been to a spin class since before we went to Europe! I thought I was going to be really, really hurting afterwards but I did all right. I didn't think I'd manage four classes in the first week after missing three months. But it feels great to be getting so much cardio done! Just wish me luck in staying awake late enough to close the store and drive home tonight!

CF and I took a trip to Expo last Saturday to look at bathroom stuff and now we're realizing how much work we have to do before we can remodel our lovely pink bathroom. I've started to work on some floor plans, but they often just frustrate me because we just don't have the room to do anything the way we'd really like it. I'm sure I'll have plenty more to say on this subject as we get further along in this project.

What else is going on? Well, I've decided to have a party on the afternoon/evening of the Oscars whether there's a ceremony or not. If there's no reason to turn on the TV that's fine, we'll play some Trivial Pursuit, CF will cook, and good friends will get together. Ain't nothing wrong with that. For our anniversary in March we are thinking of just going out for a casual but fun night in the city. We might hit up a fancy restaurant that weekend with D&V though like we did right around their anniversary six months earlier. I am totally enjoying working out with my new iPod Shuffle when I do cardio by myself, it's making me want to listen to more music. I need some new tunes to listen to. Any suggestions? If you're interested, at the end of this month I do believe two Broadway divas will be releasing pop records on the same day, Sarah Brightman (Christine from Phantom) and Idina Menzel (from Rent and Wicked) both think 1/29 is a good day to drop an album. I think I will be willing to check out both.

So! I never did make a list of New Year's resolutions, but I realized that not all of them were important and really it was a to-do list I was writing in my head. So while things like actually buying new gym clothes (my XXL t-shirts are a bit baggy), and getting more picture frames hung on our walls do seem like good ideas, I'm not going to rate my year based on my getting them done. My real resolution comes from my original chiropractor, who moved away suddenly last October. She used to tell me, "Be good to yourself." And it worked for so many occasions! Whether it was just trying to remember to eat right, or if it was me feeling guilty about not enjoying time around certain people in my life. She was telling me to not feel bad about what I ate yesterday, but remember what kind of food actually makes me feel good... all in four little words. And while I was confessing to not being the most patient and understanding person (shocking, I know!) she was telling me to stop beating myself up over it and to think about how those people make me feel anyway. I've carried this saying into other aspects of my life. I can't say I've got it down perfectly yet, but it is still January after all! Like after getting home later than expected last night because CF needed a little extra time at work, and I still watched a whole DVD like I had planned, even though that kept me up till 11 and I was getting up around 5 to go to the gym? That's not being too good to myself, that's what we call self-sabotaging. But at least I recognize it and will try to do better next time. That's the whole point, really. Do what is best/right for you but don't beat yourself up for mistakes, because that's not good for you either, just make sure to do better next time (and then do it!). So my resolution for 2008 is to be good to myself. There you have it.

Okay kids, I've got to head to work. I'm going to buy JE a little gift card at our cafe across the street for being such a badass yesterday when I needed so much help.

Work forced to wait too...

So after a morning that really should have told me to just go back to bed I got on the road heading to work. The drive was so scary! I think the fastest I went on the best part of the road was about 60, but only for a minute or two. Around the halfway point I got a call from the store, thank goodness I had thought to put on my hands-free device! The power was off and the two of them were just sitting in the dark, they had made one sale and one other customer had come in, but all the restaurants around us were closed and they were hungry. So I pulled off the freeway to try the In-N-Out drive through but the line was beyond insane, I settled on Safeway near work. The rest of the drive was even scarier and I was talking to CF, he told me to not drive if I was scared and I asked what he would have me do, pull over and wait for the storm to clear up in three days? I kept on trucking and made it to Safeway, a lot of the street signals were out, looks like San Jose got hit hard! I looked at the hot soup, but got distracted looking for one my vegan (by choice) slash gluten-free (by necessity) manager could eat and ended up buying a refrigerated container of soup, which did us little good at a store with no power! But the apples, nuts, and veggies I brought were a welcome sight at the store. M and J were just sitting behind the counter. We called the coworker who would have been driving in from Santa Cruz, turns out she had been trying to call the store but the phones weren't working, she couldn't make it through the hills and had turned around and gone home, thank goodness! We sat there for about two hours before we finally got word to pack up and go home, thank goodness, again! The drive home wasn't nearly as bad as the way there, but the storm sounds like it's still going strong.

What a craptastic day! I am going to do my best to make the most of the extra time and get some work done around the house so I can enjoy a movie tomorrow. At least something good might come out of this!

Resolutions forced to wait...

This morning sucks.

We woke up to pouring rain, street gutters that resemble rapids, our garbage washed out all over the street (CF got it all rounded up just before the truck came), I broke a glass that I had on my nightstand all over the floor right by the bed, I can't keep up with the chaos so I ran out of time to work on an important project, I was supposed to get most of tomorrow home catching up with paying late bills and finally finishing going through October's mail but now it looks like that might not happen (we'll see), my job constantly has my stomach in knots, CF's plan for today keeps on changing so I don't know if I'm stranding him without a car or what (his car's emergency brake is maybe broken)... and to top it all off I would do anything not to have to drive to San Jose in the storm, and also home late tonight.

Waaaaaah.